A "touchy" subject

So I'm a drug rep. Part of my job description is: caterer. I know. awesome.

On any given day I take snacks/beverages/treats to a few of my offices. Last week I went into Pavilions (which is a very fancy Vons with a beautiful produce section by the way) to pick up some deliciously enticing, freshly baked donuts for one of my offices. I needed about a dozen, so I managed to get a box from the bakery and as I approached the donut cabinet display, there is a little old lady man-handling all the donuts. REALLY? The pastry tissues are directly in front of her that solely exist for selecting her perfect donuts without her nasty hands actually touching them. Now, I get the fact that this wouldn't be as disgusting if she spotted her ideal donut and went directly for it, not touching other surrounding circles of deliciousness en-route, but unfortunately this lady had a different plan. Her technique to truly select the perfect donut(s) included picking them up and giving each one a nice squeeze (with her bare hands) leaving the majority of them with her little finger prints indented in them. gross.

I wanted so badly to say something subtle like "You're disgusting...could you please use the tissues? Didn't your mother teach you anything?" but I thought this particular lady might still not get it. So I loudly cleared my throat to let her know I was there and was witnessing her bad behavior, which didn't phase her in the least. I love old people...I do. I respect them for all of their life experience they have and the stories and the history and the wisdom. But some old people just don't give a damn what people think (which is usually funny to me, but not when I'm next in line for donuts!).

She proceeded with her selection, just went slightly faster. then she sneezed. ARE YOU freakin' KIDDING me??? I fought back my urge to ferociously ring the bakery service bell for back-up while performing a citizen's arrest on her for her blatant gross-ness and complete disregard for public health.

Needless to say, I chose bagels.